Today is my birthday! Yay me...I don't worry about birthdays, usually I view it as just another day...today my first words to my son were "I'm thankful to be breathing". I was also greeted with something most awesome for a mom of a teen...a hug and a happy birthday. Honestly, that in and of itself was enough...I'm good, day is done.
Vic was out of town, so the kids and I headed to church...followed by my oldest wanting me to buy Foosackly's for lunch. I headed to Starbucks for my favorite regular brew and then Bruno's for a big bowl of fresh fruit and a bag of popcorn before hitting the chicken joint. Proudly I didn't eat chicken, fries or toast...I choose instead, 4 cups of healthy, delicious fruit. Those of you that have never struggled with eating addictions would never understand just how extremely proud I am for that choice.
The rest of the day was spent cuddled on the couch with my girl watching the tube and just being.
I was also blessed with a facebook full of birthday wishes...a text from my 76 year old mother and one from my sweetie.
My evening status read "I end the 1st day of my 45th year with a joyful heart". So true, what an awesome day!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
A list of questions, a letter & a mother's love...
It was an ordinary Thursday, gloomy, rainy...the kind of day that one might wanna stay home. But I decided to gather my youngin's and my momma and head to the DI Estuarium...fast forward to the trip home and I get the question...THE question...the one I'd been waiting for..."Can I hang out with THE FRIEND this Saturday?". It was an prickly on the neck kind of moment that slightly rose my blood pressure, but I calmly answered, "We'll talk about it later".
Later came and I was finally able to bring up the subject of the previous Saturday that had got me hopping mad. I calmly stated my case...and told him that there would be no Saturday hanging out time with "the friend". The teen left and I felt all went well...yea for me!
It's a little secret that I've known about girls for some time...they're trouble! ...and my gut has always told me that "the friend" might be the type of girl who just might very well cause me some.
I'm always excited to get a face book message...which I happen to have received that same evening. Opening I was anticipating a friend...instead it was my son, hmmmm. "Check your emails!!!!!! :P
"THE FRIEND" had some questions..." I won't post the entire message, but let's just say it was a run down of how much I upset her, she comes from a bad family life, yada, yada, yada...
These I received...
As if that wasn't bad enough, my son sent me letter the very next day. To his credit, given it was his thoughts & words...it was a nice letter, very mature with a lovely ending.
sigh...
...I sure do love that boy!
Later came and I was finally able to bring up the subject of the previous Saturday that had got me hopping mad. I calmly stated my case...and told him that there would be no Saturday hanging out time with "the friend". The teen left and I felt all went well...yea for me!
It's a little secret that I've known about girls for some time...they're trouble! ...and my gut has always told me that "the friend" might be the type of girl who just might very well cause me some.
I'm always excited to get a face book message...which I happen to have received that same evening. Opening I was anticipating a friend...instead it was my son, hmmmm. "Check your emails!!!!!! :P
"THE FRIEND" had some questions..." I won't post the entire message, but let's just say it was a run down of how much I upset her, she comes from a bad family life, yada, yada, yada...These I received...
- Why can't you date?
- What's wrong with sitting by me?
- What's wrong with me?
- Why doesn't she like me?
- Why can't you see me more?
- Did I do something to her?
- Why does she make me feel I'm an outcast from your family?
- Why is she guarding you?
- Why won't she give this a chance instead of evaluating all the ways she can hate it?
As if that wasn't bad enough, my son sent me letter the very next day. To his credit, given it was his thoughts & words...it was a nice letter, very mature with a lovely ending.
sigh...
...I sure do love that boy!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Seething & Pissed off...
Yep...the above of an honest account of how I was feeling Saturday night. Today is Monday and I've since had time to cool off ;~) I never finished the thought/story...never posted...and I am thankful, yes, so incredibly thankful that I've learned to not "react" in the moment, but rather stop, sleep, and think on how I might better approach the subject at a later date. It's taken some time and lots of help from this book, http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Teens-Logic-Updated-Expanded/dp/1576839303 to learn this fine art. I will admit though, it is HaRd!
I'm still not certain how the thought/story will end...I've not yet approached the teen with the "issue" that had me so hoping mad. Regardless of how and when I decide to approach the subject with him, I'm thankful I didn't burn a bridge ;~)
Hug your babies, toddlers, children, tweens and if they allow...hug those teens! ...they grow and change so very fast!
Monday, December 26, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011...
It's now winter...one of my least favorite times of year. Living in the south, winter gives way to cold, gray, drizzly days. If I live north, winter would give me snow...I'd still be cold, it would still be gray and I'd still whine, but I'd have something pretty to look at...at least for new fallen snow. The older I get the colder I am...more recently I realized that as hard as we tried and wanted to move back north, being stuck in the south was probably the best thing...for me anyway.
Christmas was wonderful...relaxed, full of goodness and joy. My mom spent the day with us, my teen is beyond the spoiled stage, really appreciates his gifts and understands the sacrifice to receive a Christmas budget. After a little "humble pie", the tween chilled out and enjoyed her bounty. Hubby grilled THE BEST bbq ribs, ever...truly competition worthy! We had homemade mac-n-cheese, a veggie, cake & pie. YUM!
Catching up...
The girlfriend issue is not exactly resolved as I previously thought, lol. "We've" been seeing her quite a bit and more recently the boy spent a couple of days with her family...celebrating her birthday & holidays. Hubby and I have met the parents...grandparents & siblings. We've softened our heart to her and will ride the wave as long as the wave continues.
I'm EXTREMELY happy and so very, very proud to report a 75 pound weight loss! HaPpY DaNcE!
School...yeah. School...well you see...we ummmm. We're on break, yeah, that's it...
Kaitlyn started flute lessons through a new home school band. She LOVES it and is doing so, so well. We have 10 students currently and they have done an excellent job in the few short weeks of lessons. Two percussion, two trumpets, four flutist & two saxophones ;~) I couldn't be more thrilled!
Robotics ended with us going to Auburn but not pulling a win. I was so very glad when Robotics ended! I'm making a mental note that I will not allow Robotics to dominate my life next year...yeah right (eye roll).
Here we are at the end of 2011...already! Much peace, love and joy to all...see ya next year!
Christmas was wonderful...relaxed, full of goodness and joy. My mom spent the day with us, my teen is beyond the spoiled stage, really appreciates his gifts and understands the sacrifice to receive a Christmas budget. After a little "humble pie", the tween chilled out and enjoyed her bounty. Hubby grilled THE BEST bbq ribs, ever...truly competition worthy! We had homemade mac-n-cheese, a veggie, cake & pie. YUM!
Catching up...
The girlfriend issue is not exactly resolved as I previously thought, lol. "We've" been seeing her quite a bit and more recently the boy spent a couple of days with her family...celebrating her birthday & holidays. Hubby and I have met the parents...grandparents & siblings. We've softened our heart to her and will ride the wave as long as the wave continues.
I'm EXTREMELY happy and so very, very proud to report a 75 pound weight loss! HaPpY DaNcE!
School...yeah. School...well you see...we ummmm. We're on break, yeah, that's it...
Kaitlyn started flute lessons through a new home school band. She LOVES it and is doing so, so well. We have 10 students currently and they have done an excellent job in the few short weeks of lessons. Two percussion, two trumpets, four flutist & two saxophones ;~) I couldn't be more thrilled!
Robotics ended with us going to Auburn but not pulling a win. I was so very glad when Robotics ended! I'm making a mental note that I will not allow Robotics to dominate my life next year...yeah right (eye roll).
Here we are at the end of 2011...already! Much peace, love and joy to all...see ya next year!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Today...
It's now Fall. I like Fall, I like the the shift from the hot and muggy summer to the slightly cooler and somewhat relaxed days ahead...and of course HALLOWEEN! Who doesn't like dressing up, hitting the road, knocking on doors and getting FREE candy?!? I've always loved Halloween and trick-or-treated well into my teen years. My girlie is really excited again this year, but I've been forwarded and I fear that my teenager will ditch us this year in lieu of hanging out with friends at church. But...at least it is at church and the church does offer a safe Halloweenie alternative...costumes optional and food included, not bad. We shall see...
We've been busy, busy, busy lately. We officially started our school the day after labor day...exactly the way I grew up. I decided to plug the kids back into some "formal" academics this year. Despite my extremely relaxed attitude towards school...we needed to make some changes to best benefit each person for future needs.
The teen is not getting any younger and will be hitting the road to independence before I know it. He's doing some studies that best fit his interest at this time, all the while satisfying some of the "required" needs of graduation...or GED should he go that route when the time comes. He's a smart kid...I should know...because I have found out that at 15 they know it all, really, they do...(eye-roll).
The tween is doing well. I keep telling her to use the brain God gave her, cause I swear that girl just doesn't think! I'm pleased with her progress on the subjects chosen...but my goodness does she wear me the slap out!
Sadly we will lose our very last BFF to private school this month. A decision not taken lightly on the mothers part...but a heartbreaking one for me neither the less. I cried when I found out...and morned the loss, yet again. Our home-school community is broken and unfortunately I can not fix it. Oh how I wish I could pull ALL the home-schoolers out of the woodwork to join together for the good of all. That said, I've been put in the position of re-evaluating my current choice of coverings. I'm going to have to bite the bullet and go with a more popular and therefore regulated covering next year...hence the reason for upping the academic bar. But we NEED to be able to connect with others our age...one of our groups is just d-e-a-d, I honestly have no earthly idea where those people are or what they are doing...but it's not hanging out together, that's for dang sure! Our covering group is lacking in the 10-12 yo girl department, so that's not a huge help in connecting. Blah...
On the upside, Robotics has started again and both kids are involved this year. We joined our local 4-H club, just for the girl. Fortunately she knows a few of the girls there...unfortunately the first meeting one of the girls had to be a meanie pants! A local music store has also started up a home-school band and my girl will learn to play the flute, yay! And of course there's church...lots of youth activity there. I just keep hoping she'll find some connections...and not lose them, again.
So there we are...it's Fall...it's fun...it's fabulous. Good day!
We've been busy, busy, busy lately. We officially started our school the day after labor day...exactly the way I grew up. I decided to plug the kids back into some "formal" academics this year. Despite my extremely relaxed attitude towards school...we needed to make some changes to best benefit each person for future needs.
The teen is not getting any younger and will be hitting the road to independence before I know it. He's doing some studies that best fit his interest at this time, all the while satisfying some of the "required" needs of graduation...or GED should he go that route when the time comes. He's a smart kid...I should know...because I have found out that at 15 they know it all, really, they do...(eye-roll).
The tween is doing well. I keep telling her to use the brain God gave her, cause I swear that girl just doesn't think! I'm pleased with her progress on the subjects chosen...but my goodness does she wear me the slap out!
Sadly we will lose our very last BFF to private school this month. A decision not taken lightly on the mothers part...but a heartbreaking one for me neither the less. I cried when I found out...and morned the loss, yet again. Our home-school community is broken and unfortunately I can not fix it. Oh how I wish I could pull ALL the home-schoolers out of the woodwork to join together for the good of all. That said, I've been put in the position of re-evaluating my current choice of coverings. I'm going to have to bite the bullet and go with a more popular and therefore regulated covering next year...hence the reason for upping the academic bar. But we NEED to be able to connect with others our age...one of our groups is just d-e-a-d, I honestly have no earthly idea where those people are or what they are doing...but it's not hanging out together, that's for dang sure! Our covering group is lacking in the 10-12 yo girl department, so that's not a huge help in connecting. Blah...
On the upside, Robotics has started again and both kids are involved this year. We joined our local 4-H club, just for the girl. Fortunately she knows a few of the girls there...unfortunately the first meeting one of the girls had to be a meanie pants! A local music store has also started up a home-school band and my girl will learn to play the flute, yay! And of course there's church...lots of youth activity there. I just keep hoping she'll find some connections...and not lose them, again.
So there we are...it's Fall...it's fun...it's fabulous. Good day!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Where am I now?
So...what have I been up to?
Regarding the previous post on "Nagging Mind Garbage..."
1. Neighborhood issues: Haven't uttered a word about the neighborhood issue...in fact, I've shushed anyone who might.
2. Neighbor's Barking Dog: The fence still has not been put up...the barking dog is still the barking dog...and well...yeah.
3. Weight: I am thrilled to report a 30 pound loss as of today. Most recently I started following the book "Eat To Live"...it follows a Vegan lifestyle & elimination of all processed foods which I have found incredibly easy to incorporate into my daily routine. 1992 I embarked on a Vegetarian way of life...animal love/compassion was solely my reason. 1996, pregnant and needing additional nourishment I took my first bite of animal protein and once again entered into the world of the flesh eating. Although I have "mostly" enjoyed eating meat/poultry & seafood...it is something that I very often put blinders on for. Allowing myself to think about the flesh product being consumed would very often cause me to pause...often I'd force a mind change and ignore that inner voice. Last night I ran across a very graphic animal slaughtering video while researching...I'll admit that it literally made me quite nauseated...as horrible as it was, it was just the thing I needed to cinch the deal in my head. The blinders are off and I think I am a-okay with not only revisiting my vegetarian past...but embracing and loving being vegan!
4. Dating woes with my son: The story end is bitter-sweet. Bitter for the boy as the girl broke it off, but sweet for the momma to be rid of the girl! I was sad for my boy, and the boy was mad with me...but we got over it and life continues.
Regarding the previous post on "Nagging Mind Garbage..."
1. Neighborhood issues: Haven't uttered a word about the neighborhood issue...in fact, I've shushed anyone who might.
2. Neighbor's Barking Dog: The fence still has not been put up...the barking dog is still the barking dog...and well...yeah.
3. Weight: I am thrilled to report a 30 pound loss as of today. Most recently I started following the book "Eat To Live"...it follows a Vegan lifestyle & elimination of all processed foods which I have found incredibly easy to incorporate into my daily routine. 1992 I embarked on a Vegetarian way of life...animal love/compassion was solely my reason. 1996, pregnant and needing additional nourishment I took my first bite of animal protein and once again entered into the world of the flesh eating. Although I have "mostly" enjoyed eating meat/poultry & seafood...it is something that I very often put blinders on for. Allowing myself to think about the flesh product being consumed would very often cause me to pause...often I'd force a mind change and ignore that inner voice. Last night I ran across a very graphic animal slaughtering video while researching...I'll admit that it literally made me quite nauseated...as horrible as it was, it was just the thing I needed to cinch the deal in my head. The blinders are off and I think I am a-okay with not only revisiting my vegetarian past...but embracing and loving being vegan!
4. Dating woes with my son: The story end is bitter-sweet. Bitter for the boy as the girl broke it off, but sweet for the momma to be rid of the girl! I was sad for my boy, and the boy was mad with me...but we got over it and life continues.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Mind Garbage...
Nagging issues and solutions:
1. Neighborhood issues...
Last November a real estate lady informed me that a "commercial" property developer wanted to purchase my land and 29 other homes in my neighborhood. Here we are 6 months later and the ride has been less then joyful. At last nights meeting I felt no love, no peace and came away feeling tense and rather pissed.
Solution:
My husband and I have made the decision to close the door. I spoke my last words of the issue to him this morning and will no longer utter one word about the project to my family or neighbors. As for the visual side of my mind, I will take a piece of paper and write all the toxic words spilling from my head regarding this issue...fold it and seal in in an envelope. I haven't quite decided whether to burn...bury...hide or simply shred the contents. But I know that sealing the envelope will put closure on a subject that has plagued me for far too long.
2: Neighbor's Barking Dog...
What exactly DO you do with a barking dog?
Solution:
A FENCE! We will be calling our trusty fence dude and have him finish the back section of yard still in view by the neighborhood pest!
3: Weight...
Been counting calories again and have lost 9.4 pounds! YAY! To be honest, yesterday was tough...after the meeting, typically I would have ripped into a bag of chips and/or anything else I could get me hands on. I finally realized I was feeling a trigger "stress"...I am an emotional eater and food is my comfort. But feel such a sense of accomplishment...I resisted, fought tooth and nail and made it through the night.
Solution:
Keep on keeping on! Resist! Resist! Resist!
4: Dating woes with my son...
There is no way on God's green earth I could ever let this one go without analyzing it death. I was able to get out of taking him to the mall to "hangout with Ravyn" last weekend (thanks Mom!), but was once again faced with wanting to go to the movie this Saturday.
I found a book recently...well, I didn't exactly find it, cause I knew where it was, but anyway...I remembered I had a book recently that I'd never read, but kept for just this moment in life..."Dateable, Are You? Are They?". After reading the book, I asked my son to as well...all the while I gathered my thoughts, talked to hubby and wrote a letter to my son to help me stay on track with our discussion...
...our discussion didn't quite go as planned since my son only "glanced" at the book and was totally clueless when asked certain questions to help me gauge his "maturity level with girls".
Solution:
As of today, the book is "required" reading. We will revisit the subject at another date. There will be no drop-offs, supervised or not, "to hangout one on one". And finally...when he is mature enough to be financially responsible (by having a job of his choice) and transportation independent (he has bought a mode of transportation AND pays for insurance), he can make the choice to go hangout with a young woman as he has earned his freedom.
...and as I explained to him, I'm not comfortable bringing my 15yo to "hook-up" with a 16 1/2 yo girl and I sure as hell am not gonna PAY for him to do so!
1. Neighborhood issues...
Last November a real estate lady informed me that a "commercial" property developer wanted to purchase my land and 29 other homes in my neighborhood. Here we are 6 months later and the ride has been less then joyful. At last nights meeting I felt no love, no peace and came away feeling tense and rather pissed.
Solution:
My husband and I have made the decision to close the door. I spoke my last words of the issue to him this morning and will no longer utter one word about the project to my family or neighbors. As for the visual side of my mind, I will take a piece of paper and write all the toxic words spilling from my head regarding this issue...fold it and seal in in an envelope. I haven't quite decided whether to burn...bury...hide or simply shred the contents. But I know that sealing the envelope will put closure on a subject that has plagued me for far too long.
2: Neighbor's Barking Dog...
What exactly DO you do with a barking dog?
Solution:
A FENCE! We will be calling our trusty fence dude and have him finish the back section of yard still in view by the neighborhood pest!
3: Weight...
Been counting calories again and have lost 9.4 pounds! YAY! To be honest, yesterday was tough...after the meeting, typically I would have ripped into a bag of chips and/or anything else I could get me hands on. I finally realized I was feeling a trigger "stress"...I am an emotional eater and food is my comfort. But feel such a sense of accomplishment...I resisted, fought tooth and nail and made it through the night.
Solution:
Keep on keeping on! Resist! Resist! Resist!
4: Dating woes with my son...
There is no way on God's green earth I could ever let this one go without analyzing it death. I was able to get out of taking him to the mall to "hangout with Ravyn" last weekend (thanks Mom!), but was once again faced with wanting to go to the movie this Saturday.
I found a book recently...well, I didn't exactly find it, cause I knew where it was, but anyway...I remembered I had a book recently that I'd never read, but kept for just this moment in life..."Dateable, Are You? Are They?". After reading the book, I asked my son to as well...all the while I gathered my thoughts, talked to hubby and wrote a letter to my son to help me stay on track with our discussion...
...our discussion didn't quite go as planned since my son only "glanced" at the book and was totally clueless when asked certain questions to help me gauge his "maturity level with girls".
Solution:
As of today, the book is "required" reading. We will revisit the subject at another date. There will be no drop-offs, supervised or not, "to hangout one on one". And finally...when he is mature enough to be financially responsible (by having a job of his choice) and transportation independent (he has bought a mode of transportation AND pays for insurance), he can make the choice to go hangout with a young woman as he has earned his freedom.
...and as I explained to him, I'm not comfortable bringing my 15yo to "hook-up" with a 16 1/2 yo girl and I sure as hell am not gonna PAY for him to do so!
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