I seem to have a cycle going. A few happy post and then there's always a downer one. But...true to myself, this is how my life is.
Ever have a friend...well, lets just say acquaintance because after almost seven years I can't honestly say that there is a "friendship"...it's probably more of a tolerance for each other due to our children. Anyway...ever have an "acquaintance" that made you feel, well...less than good about yourself? Yeah, me too.
I have such an "acquaintance" who over the years has made me feel this way time and time again. I've been made to feel that I never make the "right" decisions...I'm not the right kind of person (because I'm not perfect), I'm not the right kind of mom (because my kids are not perfect and I let them watch T.V., the wrong videos, listen to the wrong music, allow them to speak their mind and have a life), I'm not the right kind of Christian (because I'm not Catholic), I'm not the right kind of neighbor (see kid post) and most recently...(we're not the right kind of dog owners).
Some might say that I need to grow a thick skin, and yes, I suppose that is correct...and I think that it's a process of growth through life and circumstance. I admit that I am overly sensitive and would like to have a "thicker skin". Still though...even with a thicker skin, all it would do is cause me to not care what people say...I want to care what people say just as much as I want to care what I say to people. I never want to be the type of person that becomes over sensitized as to not care what people say or think...for what it is, I think you grow and learn that way.
But...this is different. This is just a pure sad case of reckless judgement...and thinking that one is perhaps mightier then one is. I don't think that she is...mightier that is. And this is not just about me. If I had my "rathers"...I'd rather sever the "acquaintance-ship" and call it done. But...(there's always a but!)...my kids enjoy the company of her children (mostly). So...for the sake of the children I forever bend backwards, swallow hard and continue on...
We are currently taking a break from the friend/acquaintance-ship...for a while anyway. Sometimes I find it necessary to "temporarily" take a vacation to regroup, heal and teach some hard lessons on friendship and "howdidthatmakeyoufeelandwhatmightyoudodifferentnexttime" type of thing...I'm not the only one affected, my sweet girl is also. Her "friends" seem to be affected by the "mightier" than thou syndrome as well...blah!
Gosh, you seem to be going through a bit of a rough patch friend-wise...I wish I was there to give you a hug! People like the person you described make us second guess ourselves, and it's hard not to buy into it. You've got great Mama instincts and you're someone I admire...don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
ReplyDeleteDitto what Jennifer said...and also remember that no one can make you feel bad or insecure, or whatever it might be unless you let them. They have their "story" and you have yours. Listen to their story as being just their story, then continue to stay true to yours. :-)
ReplyDeletegeez...things like this are really hard. there is always "one" along the way to make us second-guess ourselves :( i also agree with jennifer and laura....you're great and don't let anyone make you feel otherwise :~)
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