My mommy heart is having growing pains. My oldest is very quickly approaching the age of 13...and despite the fact that I'd like to continue to enjoy my sweet little boy he is showing signs that he doesn't want to stay little, much less sweet. What the heck is this thing called puberty and why the hell is it messing with my kid! I feel at an impasse...everything that I've learned about parenting for the last twelve years is now changing and being challenged as this new emerging teenager called my kid, has taken up residence in my house.
I have always strived for the perfect balance of parenting...I've read the books...search the Internet...talked with friends...prayed and used my heart...my best friend and his daddy work together for the better of these kids....but as I head into the dark murky water that lies ahead I'm feeling lost...sad and unsure of this next stage in life and how to handle it with grace.
Today is one of many that I'm sure will feel like a slap in the face...today is one of many that I will realize that teenagers can be selfish...today is one of many that will force me to re-evaluate my parenting...today...tomorrow...forever I will feel that I have never been a good enough mom and protected enough, or maybe protected too much...allowed too much freedom, or perhaps not enough...have I messed up? will I?
This post was spurred by a simple request to have a sleepover...but it wasn't just the sleepover, it is this among many other simple request over the past few weeks which have me feeling overwhelmed by the amount of freedom my oldest is wanting...that and the fear in my soul of him becoming peer orientated. As I explained to him, we've allowed him many of these desires fulfilled and my wish is that he could be satisfied and thankful instead of asking so quickly for yet another. I do not like his attitude...I do not like the manner in which he treats his sister...I do not like the way he whines over our simple request.
I know I'm not in this club by myself, but this age...this stage may be far more challenging that I had ever anticipated and may very well not be a club in which I wish to be a member! Welcome to the terrific teens, yes?
I cannot stress the amount of emotional pain and flashback you just brought to me with this post. I have tears right now remembering the point in my son's life that I remember starting to "lose him". Like the song says "Hang on loosely, but don't let go." Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI've got nothing...no wise words, no great advice. Your post has given me food for thought. I'll be hugging my boys a bit tighter tonight. :-/
ReplyDeleteoh my....my hubby and i were just talking last night about this same thing. we know it's most likely coming and we were pointing out that these are the final few years with our boys as "boys." it's scary to think of the possible changes that can come our way....
ReplyDeletegood luck!