Disappointment...

Please ignore today's post...I want this journal to not only be cute and fuzzy but a reflection of my life...my family's life. As with real life, there are times of happiness, times of sorrow and of frustration. My journey today is one of disappointment...disappointment in myself for clouded judgement of ones character.

Okay...this is the third attempt at this post. I keep second guessing myself because I don't want to offend, seem judgemental or worse yet come across as harsh in my words. This is something I struggle with often...but, I then have to remind myself that this is a journal...it just happens to be online and read by friends, unlike my diary's that I'd certainly hate for anyone to read from high school. I keep saying I'm going to burn them...and I hope I remember to before I'm to old or die :~)

On with the story...
A couple of years ago I met a person through the social circle in which I ran. At some point, her world seemed to be falling apart...I being a sympathetic person decided that I would not judge her, but instead try and understand. More time passed and this person was being abandoned by more and more people..."I" became the one constant supporter in her life. I felt as if I had become a mentor and tried to help her grow, gain self confidence, learn from her mistakes and seek spiritual counsel. I know in my heart that she was changing...or maybe I was just too stupid to see the truth!

Recently I found out that this person had been accused of minor theft and lying. What chapped by sitting spot is this is the same dang crap that I've defended this person from...over and over again. Two years of my life have been spent listening to, supporting and defending this person... and in the process I lost friendships...time from my family...my life. I gave soooo much time and it was so exhausting and mentally draining that sometimes I'd just quit answering the phone or emails so I could regroup and find my mental happy place again.

Two days ago things that I questioned, but ALWAYS gave the benefit of the doubt finally clicked and the puzzle fit together. I got it! Unfortunately that meant that I had made some dreadful errors in judgement. I had been under the impression that this person was the victim...but in hindsight, it was "I" and many others involved were the true victims.

Honestly, I'm over it...the truth has now been exposed and that's really all that matters. I'm not mad or even really hurt...just disappointed at the outcome. My "season" with this person has ended. I realized that "The true character of a person will be revealed regardless of how they try to conceal it".